A favorite friend of mine is fond of saying, “I can’t taste the lemon pie for you.”
There’s a lot of wisdom in this tiny kernel of truth.
What she’s saying is that no one can play full out in life unless she experiences all of it for herself. And with making that leap comes making mistakes. Lots of them. Whether we are willing to embrace them or not!
The value of mistakes lies in their ability to provide us with important—often profound—teaching with a bonus. It can be immediate.
Mistakes give us options. For instance, we can learn from the mistakes of others, or from our own. (I have found both to be useful in different circumstances and for different reasons.)
The process can be easy…I just can’t promise you it’s completely pain free…but then again, only a robot is completely pain free.
Here are some ways to make good use of life’s precious mistakes.
Know the 3 requirements for making mistakes that are worthwhile:
Putting yourself in situations where you can make interesting mistakes
Having the wherewithal to recognize a mistake
Being courageous to choose—and try—again
Get the most value out of a mistake:
Failed experiences contain the seeds of success. Most of us are stuck in inertia. And to change that, to have a better experience, we have to take a risk. Risks are a double-edged sword. We’re either going to experience success or failure in the moment, guaranteed.
The natural by-product is confidence and courage. A failed experiment is simply another way we discovered what doesn’t work. Meanwhile, the success is that we’ve created a little momentum, have a chance to examine what happened and can push forward to find a way that will work.
Actions that don’t work out remind us that we co-exist in the human realm. Human perception can be highly fallible and biased on many factors. Listen, no one is granted immunity from awkwardness and uncertainty. Many times, mistakes provide us with wacky opportunities to laugh at ourselves, and practice radical forgiveness.
Put your mistake into perspective. Having a support group is vital in life and sometimes being bold enough to talk to someone about life’s mistakes opens up a whole new world of communication, closeness and trust.
Start by finding someone else to talk to about what happened. Even if no one was within 50 yards when you crashed your husband’s new car into your neighbor’s living room, talking to someone else gives you the benefit of their experience applied to your situation. They may have a story or a solution for how to deal with the problem that you don’t. Sharing with others reminds us we’re really here for relationship. Plus it’s easier to find that silver lining.
Trying something new leads to personal growth and development. Most of us aren’t taught in life how to build a foundation. We just go about our business, day after do, mostly doing what we’ve always done. That’s a recipe for non-evolution. As Marianne Williamson says, “It’s easier to act your way to a new way of thinking than it is to think your way to a new way of acting.”
I’m very thankful I’m not living a life in the dark, using the outhouse and still hitching up the wagons. No, thank you! Yes mistakes can hurt. Any pain we experience should encourage us to step out on a limb and attempt something different.
Following what A Course in Miracles has to teach us about mistakes can be a real life saver: “Mistakes never call for punishment, merely correction.”
Whatever you do, stop beating yourself up over your mistakes. Recapitulating errors has only one purpose: to deplete your energy and cost you valuable time. Instead, realize, observe, choose differently and move forward in a positive manner and know that you were put here to create something great..
Take that bite of lemon pie. It doesn’t have to be a big one. And you can always enjoy the entire piece with a smooth, silky latte or tea. Influence your mistake by T.I.I.S.G. Turning It Into Something Good!
How have you handled a recent mistake? I’d love to hear your story.
