Karen Keller
What's important about a relationship? Everything! True success comes within the confines of authentic relationships. Anything less is superficial.
You buy and sell based on relationships. You hire and fire based on relationships. You agree or disagree based on relationships.
Relationships are necessary for every endeavor you attempt. Since you know the significance of a relationship, why do you (and me) mess them up so much of the time?
When was the last time you took an inventory of your relationships? Or do you just think your relationship "health" will maintain itself?
When you enter into a relationship, you expect it to last, right? Unfortunately, things change and so do people. In time, people's flaws start to show and you find yourself doing more relationship maintenance than you'd like. When do you pull the plug? Should you pull the plug? When do you clean house? What determines your next move?
At this point in time you should assess your relationship's value. A relationship is like a good pair of shoes: they're nice and shiny, clean and look pretty spiffy when they're new. Then they become very comfortable and feel great! After awhile they start to look a little scruffy, maybe a tear here and there and the sole needs repair.
How do you know if your relationship needs a little repair or if it should get a total overhaul or if it's doomed?
Here is a list of things to look at when assessing your relationship's value:
- Check the Foundation
Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Business. Love. Customer. The key to trust is honesty. If you catch someone telling half-truths, not giving you the heads up, or letting you find out in front of others, your relationship may be beyond repair. And it should be. There is no glory in wasting time in a relationship with someone who treats you badly. - Look at the Face Value
Appearance, whether you like it or not, does matter. It's about your level of attraction, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually. This isn't only limited to love relationships but to business and commerce relationships as well. Do you buy something from a guy on the corner looking scruffy wearing a trench coat? Or will you call the guy at the end of the bar who obviously doesn't care about his hygiene? You may see this as being unkind but it's there in your subconscious. - Cross-Check and Verify
Look at the problems in these areas: communication, solution-finding, forgiveness, motivation and attitude. Does she/he pull their weight? Do you communicate well to get the work done with high marks? You see, the problem you will run into is that once you've been in a relationship for a while, it can be hard to evaluate your situation objectively. Make an honest list of pros and cons. Another exercise you can do is called the "photo album" exercise. Spend a few days writing down the stories, memories and recollections of the relationship. Include both good and bad. Then page through your memories, looking at how you felt during each recollection. This will remind you of what you've forgotten about over the last few years or months – good and not-so-good. - Talk to an Expert
If you aren't clear about what you are seeing or feeling talk to someone. Call your personal life coach or therapist or a trusted friend. Give them the lowdown on what's been happening in the relationship. Listen to their feedback knowing you have the option to dismiss it or consider what your "blindspots" are in the relationship. Be willing to admit when you've conceded to less than what you've deserved. On the other hand, be open to recognize when you haven't measured up to par.
These are a few approaches to use in coming to terms with your relationships, both personally and professionally. As life grows more complex so do your relationships. Begin now to recognize the worth of each relationship you are in, knowing you have the choice to make it better.
