“The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.”-- John D. Rockefeller
For the past one hundred or so years, psychologists have been trying to figure out what motivates us human beings to do the things we do. (Wouldn’t you love to know?)
Sigmund Freud said it was our unconscious drive for pleasure. Alfred Adler believed it was our need for esteem among our peers. Abraham Maslow thought it to be the necessity of self-actualization, and Viktor Frankl considered it could be found in our constant quest for meaning.
Now these are all worthwhile and immensely wise.
What I know to be true is recognizing another piece of the pie…simply knowing what’s right for us. There lies within you a sanctuary that brings out the very best to influence your life.
Every woman understands the value of knowing everything she can about her human nature, right? Imagine what you could do knowing three most valuable things about your own human nature to affect your power of choice.
Let’s see…you could have a better relationship with your teenage daughter. Give really good answers to your mother-in-law’s quirky questions (which by the way aren’t really questions!). Or, maybe you’d like to know your customer’s next need—before they do.
The first thing to know about your nature is your need to feel important. Every woman needs to know she matters.
Like my friend Susan Johnson, who is the lead purchasing agent for a household name clothing company in New York. One day, the company was in the midst of a major shipment that went horribly wrong. The customer was expecting delivery by the end of the week.
Seeing the writing on the wall, Susan took immediate action. She picked up the phone and dialed her “miracle worker”…one of the top saleswomen in the company.
True to form, the saleswoman didn’t let Susan down. One conversation and the client suddenly realized that earlier next week for delivery was fine.
What made the saleswoman want to respond to Susan so quickly?
Feminine influence.
Susan understands “special.” She makes people feel extraordinary by really listening when they speak. She remembers what’s going on in their lives – and asks them about it. Susan approaches people with enthusiasm. People in Susan’s life know they matter.
All of this comes easily for Susan…it’s her nature. And women respond in kind.
The second thing about female nature is that every woman needs to be appreciated.
Women thrive on respect. This means valuing her spirit. Showing appreciation means being grateful, and seeing the good in ourselves and others (especially in difficult situations).
Women are auditory beings. Therefore, the best way to show appreciation is through praise.
Another way women feel appreciated is by sharing time and attention. Women place high value on time and when a person takes time to reveal his or her self, or just be with us, the experience is priceless.
Lastly, a woman’s nature thrives on the excitement of honest connection. Generally speaking, women are not creatures of logic but creatures of emotion. Logic does play a part in our human makeup but the thing that affects logic is our emotions.
Logic says people must be the same to get along; emotive connection allows us to complement one another, so there is no compromise.
Women have been criticized for allowing emotions to play any role in their decision-making process. On the contrary, just this month I listened to Peter Block, author of the best-selling book, “Community: The Structure of Belonging,” emphasize the need for the feminine to be brought into the workplace. He stated that, “. . . the feminine aspect is the single most missing piece in creating satisfying work environments.”
Women use emotions to relate and understand. Physiologically, being relational is satisfying to the female brain.
In his book “Soul Mates”, author Thomas Moore defines a soul mate as …”someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather divine grace.”
Authentic connection is a profound gift and can be found in many different kinds of relationships—friends, family members, coworkers, or neighbors.
I invite you to create a foundation of love for yourself in life by honoring your beautiful nature. Give it to yourself, ask it from others…and give it away.
What insights do you have about your nature? Do any of these ring true for you?
Tune into the profound intuitions that you have sometimes missed in the past. Transcend the transitory, become more centered by downloading “A Girl’s Gotta Have Influence…Make a Power Decision Every Time” bookmark.
