"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do,
and liking how you do it”—Maya Angelou
How hard is it to get the inner you to influence your outer behavior? Are you doing the things you want to do? In other words, how’s your Inner Influence DNA?
If that term isn’t familiar to you, it basically means creating and directing your thoughts in alignment with where you want to go.
In a minute I’ll tell you how it works, but first let me share how companies do something similar all the time.
Many of us have been encouraged by human resources or management to follow a Code of Conduct.
You know what that is….a list of identified behaviors to encourage a respectful, cooperative working environment.
They usually include statements about integrity, communication, respect, trust, feedback, and handling conflict.
Like this:
“We value conflict as an opportunity to grow. We resolve conflict by acknowledging it, clarifying the goal, brainstorming and implementing solutions while monitoring progress.”
As an executive coach who has co-created Codes of Conduct for many small and large companies, the rewards of using one as a picture for accomplishment are many. Corporations have less employee strife and loss of production while enjoying tremendously higher profits and morale.
What I want you to note is that because interacting with others is an external event, by creating Codes of Conduct, employers are doing the ‘internal thinking for you.’
Tweaking their model, however, brings you the rewards.
This is the reason why some women achieve great success and are able to focus on what they want and actually get there.
They use an internal Code of Conduct.
I call it your “Inner Influence DNA.”
Using the example above, I would change it to read: “I value my internal conflict. I resolve it by acknowledging it, clarifying my goal, and create and act on solutions. I monitor the results and celebrate my success.”
Voila! This is a great way to direct your inner thinking in regards to conflict.
There’s lots of information on how to influence everyone else around you. But to live the life you really want you must first figure out how to build your Inner Influence DNA.
Otherwise, others will influence you and you’ll join the many who, as Henry Thoreau said, are living lives of quiet desperation.
How to build your Inner Influence DNA.
1. Create a safe ‘internal’ environment. Honor yourself by giving the total you—heart, mind and soul—permission to entertain whatever ideas, feelings and thoughts occur to you in the moment.
This is your first step to freedom.
2. Recognize and respond to what is going on inside. What emotions and thoughts are you having in the present moment? Learn to acknowledge your internal dialogue.
Schedule time to think, journal, reflect.
3. Find the voice inside your head that discusses what you need, what the benefit is and the best way for you to get it. Engage with yourself. Once you do this you will gain your own trust of what you are experiencing and of who you really are.
Powerful reasons drive us to succeed.
Now you have the key to choosing what you want and directing your efforts with tender loving care.
I think you’ll find that developing your Inner Influence DNA is one of the most important practices you can understand and apply to bring all your brilliance to life.
Where do you stand on self influence? Is life just passing you by or are you ready to create a new picture? Let me hear from you.
